I want to talk about this because it's real! It still happens and it happened to me! Here's what happened and how it changed my life.
My first son, Harvey, was about 2 years old and I was delighted to discover that I was pregnant. I had made no secret to my employer about my intention to have another child, so I didn't anticpate any issues, but, as soon as I made the announcement to my Manager that I was pregnant, her attitude towards me immediately started to change.
Wheras previously, she constantly sang my praises, congratulated me on my work and continually told me, how valued I was. Suddendly things changed. It began with her critising my work and accusing me of 'fiddling my hours,' to accusations that I had "betrayed her" by becoming pregnant!
Then, when I went for my 14 week scan, It was told that I'd had a Blighted Ovum Pregnancy and that my baby had died in the womb. As you can imagine, I was confused, bewildered and bereft with grief.
Before I'd even had the chance to take it all in, I found myself being transported through the hospital corridors, to have the remains of my baby and my hopes and dreams for the future removed. After my procedure, the hospital issued a medical note, signing me off work for a minimum of two weeks to recover.
Despite this, I returned to work the very next day. I'd not been in my new role very long and despite my discomfort and grief, I wanted to honour my committment to attend a previously arranged meeting, with my Senior Directors, who were flying in from Paris.
I had informed my immediate Manager of my miscsarriage, but assued her that I would be at the meeting. She showed no sympathy, instead insisting, that I should not mention my pregnancy or miscarriage to the Directors or anyone else within the company. "Nobody needs to know that you were pregnant," she said.
I thought it odd, that she wanted me to conceal my pregnancy and this major trauma in my life, especially, as I had made it clear how physically weak and vulnerable I was feeling. I had only come in to work that day, I told her, to honour my committment to attend the meeting. But then I would need the time, that the hospital had advised, to recover. Regardless, I went along with her wishes to conceal my pregnancy and miscarriage.
The meeting with the Senior Management Team went well. I was told that the business was planning a major expansion and my role as Marketing Manager would be instrumental in the growth of the business. During the meeting, I began heamorrhaging and started to feel increaingly weak and unwell. Despite this, I did my best to conceal the physical and emotional pain that I was going through, determined to remain professional and conceal the inner turmoil I was going through.
Once the meeting was over, I explained to my manager how unwell I was feeling and re-stated my need to take some time off to recuperate and to come to terms with my loss. This request was met with no sympathy, just an icy cold response, in which I was subjected to an almost surreal conversation, in which I was told that "employment law in the UK,is not as strict as Europe and that it is very easy to 'get rid of people' in the UK."
Although this was a fairly new company to me and I had not yet served my probation, I had worked with my Manager and the other members of the Senior Management team, for many years at my previous company. So, I trusted them and didn't read anything sinister into this converation, apart from thinking that it was a little odd.
Within a week, of starting my 2 weeks sick leave, advised by the hospital, I began to receive a barrage of hostile emails and false accusations from my Manager. I couldn't believe what was happening. Rather than respecting my need for time off to recover and recuperate, I felt myself being bullied and victimised. To make matters worse, whenver I attempted to defend myself, I was met with a further stream of false accusations and abuse.
It had been less than a week since I lost my baby and further complications forced me back into hospital for a further procedure. I felt physically and emotionally weak and unable to deal with the conflict at work.
I spoke to my GP about the stress that my employers were placing me under. He was furious that they were not respecting the hospital's medical note and insisted that my employer must not contact me during this time. Knowing how physically weak and emotionally vulnerable I was feeling, he wrote a letter to my employers, explaining, the risk that they were placing on my physical and emotional health. He firmly requested that they should refrain from contacting me until I was fit to return to work.
However, when I returned to work a couple of weeks later, I was immediately called into a meeting and told that the company was 'restructuring' and that my position was now redundant. I had only been promoted into this new position less than a month prior to discovering that I was pregnant and when I had met with the Senior Directors, the day after my miscarriage, they had revealed the Company's growth plans and told me that my role would be instrumental in their growth plans. So, my sudden 'redundancy' didn't make any sense?
When I tried to question the reason for my redundancy with my Manager, I couldn't believe my ears. She told me that "I had betrayed her." She said that, "She had done everything for me, but that I had betrayed her by becoming pregnant." I attempted to defend myself, but she repeated, "The trust has gone. Your position working with me, is no longer tolerable."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She delivered her words with such venom and brutality, without allowing me the courtesty or respect to even ask a question or defend myself. I felt uttlerly victimized and powerless.
It had been less than three weeks since loosing my Baby, which I was still struggling to come to terms witth. Then, on top of this, I was now being faced with the injustice of being fired from my job because of it. All in one fell swoop, I had lost my baby, my career and my livelihood.
I felt an utter loss of control over my life, victimised and powerlessness. My emotions quickly spiralled downwards to a state of depression and despair. It seemed like life had played a cruel trick on me.
Over the next few weeks, my Father, witnessing my despair, insisted that I must stand up for myself and take my employers to an employment tribunal. Initially I refused, I simply didn't have the emotional energy and I needed to come to terms with my loss. But my Father insisted that I must not let them get away with it.
To cut a very long story short, I spent a year fighting my employers at Tribunal. It was a very stressful year, in which they attempted to undermine and discredit me. They even tried to make me back down, by threatening to take me to court for "defamation of character." These were all bulllying techniques, which thankfully, did not pay off.
Eventually, after a full week in court, my employers were found guilty of Pregnancy Related Sex Discrimination. I was awarded compensation for loss of earnings and injury to feelings. Although, of course, I was relieved by the outcome, I felt numb and empty.
No amount of money or compensation, could ever compendate me for the pain and anguish that my Employers put me throough.
My experience of Pregnancy Discrimination:
The emotional scars of Pregnancy Discrimination run deep. Even now, more than 20 years later, I still have a deep seated fear of ever returning to the corporate world again. Never again, do I want to feel bullied or victimized. Never again, do I want to be made to 'feel guilty' for being pregnant. Never again, do I want to be forced to choose between staying home with a sick child or going to work. Never again do I want to miss out on one of my children's school plays or sports days. Never again, do I want to be forced to work, whilst someone else looks after my children.
Although, it took me a very long time to believe that their could possibly be any blessings concelaed within this adversity. I recongise now, that this traumatic period in my life, was a powerful catalyst for change, which set my life on an entirely new trajectory. So deep was my fear of returning to the corporate world, that it only left me with one option. I would have to pave my own way and forge my own destiny.
Would I have been brave enough to start my own Business without having faced this adversity? Maybe not?
In fact, it was the emotional pain of loosing two Babies and being fired from my job, that sparked the desire and inspiration to start my own Creative Home Business. It is also the reason why I am so passionate now, about inspiring and empowering other Women to tap into their own hidden creative talents, so that they can replicate the success that I have gained over the past 20 years, running my own successful Creative Home Business.
If you have been affected my Pregnancy Discrimination, I hope that my story has inspired you and given you some hope?
I have faced many other adversities, since my Pregnancy losses and Sex Discrimination Tribunal, including a brain haemorrhage in 2016, which threatened not only to kill me, but also to rob my children of their mother.
Whilst none of these experiences have been welcome, I try to view all negative experiences in my life, as part of life’s journey. What I have come to discover in life, is that change and challenge is inevitable, but growth is optional. So, I always try to look for the lessons and blessings concealed in any of life's misfortunes, however difficult and painful that this can sometimes be.
If you are going through the injustice of Pregnancy Discrimination right now, I know how painful and life altering this is. I know how powerless and victtimised you feel. That's why I want to reach out to you and say. "It's ok." I know how hard things are for you right now, but it will all work out for you in the future. But, if you want to talk, I'm here for you. Please DM me via Instagram and let's stay in touch!
Whether you are a Woman that has faced a similar injustice, or maybe you're a mum that simply want's MORE, please Register for my Time & Freedom Webinar, to discover the exact steps that I took to build a profitable lifestyle business (whilst raising my children as a single mum)… so that you can do the same too!
We all have the power to overcome adversity, to ignite our dreams and create our life's victory and I want to show you how! :-)
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